A Painful Ache
by iloveromance
Summary: News of Niles' unexpected marriage throws Daphne's life into turmoil. (Episode: "Something Borrowed Someone Blue")
1. Chapter 1

The comfort she received from Mrs. Richman in the elevator was not enough.

After hearing the news that Dr. Crane and Mel had unexpectedly gotten married, nothing would ever be enough.

Nothing at all.

When the elevator doors opened, Mrs. Richman gave Daphne one last squeeze. "Are you going to be okay, hon?"

Daphne nodded silently as new tears spilled down her cheeks. She wanted to thank her kind neighbor, but the words were shrouded by her pain. Her chest was burning with a pain that would never fully diminish, accompanied by an overwhelming sense of guilt. She shouldn't be feeling this way about another man, not when she was due to be married in less than three days.

What was wrong with her?

And why, oh why had she given the elder Dr. Crane that bloody massage?

Her chest feeling as though it would explode, she exited the elevator and walked into the lobby, expecting to see Morrie, the doorman waving at her in greeting. But the reminder that she had attended his funeral just days before and would never see or hear him again made her cry even harder. He'd died so unexpectedly and he was so young; much too young. His family must be devastated. And the thought only increased her tears; as selfish as they were. At least their tears were for the man they had lost so suddenly. Her own were for a man she could not have; and up until five months ago, didn't even know she wanted.

Driving was difficult as she headed down the street, blindly making her way toward her destination. The biggest problem was that she had no idea where she was going, no idea at all. The statement she'd made to Frasier about going to the caterers had essentially been a lie. The catering company wasn't closing early and in fact, weren't even open at all. She could mail the check easily and she had plenty of time to do so. The caterer seemed to trust her, so there was no rush in getting the payment to them. She hated to lie to the man who had given her so much, but she simply couldn't stay at home any longer, knowing that Niles was there with his new wife.

He was married.

_Married…_

The words made her chest hurt so badly that she could hardly breathe and the tears clogged her throat, pushing their way down her cheeks. She'd lost her chance at happiness and had lost the man she loved so deeply. How ironic that it took falling in love with another man to make her realize that her soul mate had been right in front of her all along. She'd just been too stupid to see it.

In the days since Frasier had unknowingly told her that Niles was in love with her, she hadn't been able to get the younger Dr. Crane out of her mind. She replayed every moment between them in her mind over and over again; putting together the pieces of what was the picture of a man who had tried in every possible way to let her know that he felt more for her than friendship. And all the while, she passed it off as being silly or pretentious.

If she could take back every comment, every insult, and every dismissal and apologize profusely for being so blind for the past six years, she would have done so in a heartbeat. But no words would ever be enough to tell him how sorry she was, even if she spent the rest of her life trying.

What must Niles have thought, being forced to sit on Frasier's beloved sofa and watch as Donny pledged his love to her, offering her the stars, when it was Niles who was in love with her? Oh, why hadn't she seen it before? If she had, she wouldn't be feeling this way now.

A sob escaped and she pulled her car into a grocery store parking lot, parking as far away as she could from the entrance. Her trembling hand turned off the ignition and she leaned against the driver's seat, crying as though she would never stop.


	2. Chapter 2

After some time the sobs began to subside, but the tears continued to fall. She tried to put Niles out of her mind; to try, if only for a few minutes, to forget about the fact that she'd lost him forever. But even the thought brought his handsome face to her mind. And then the words she knew would resound in her memory for as long as she lived;

Even now she could hear clearly, Mel's shirking voice proclaiming; _"We got married!" _

She hadn't been able to look at him, couldn't bear to see his face, even as she plastered on a smile and went to congratulate him. Now she wondered what expression he would have worn. Clearly he hadn't wanted her to know about his nuptials, but why"? Was it because he was ashamed? Because he felt guilty?

No. It was, of course, none of those things. Why should he feel guilty or ashamed? He was newly married. He should be happy. And she should have been happy for him. He was, after all, her friend; her best friend.

She felt as though she could tell him anything. Of course, he was a psychiatrist and it was only natural for psychiatrists to have that warmth about them that made a person feel like they could say anything. But his brother was also a psychiatrist, and although they'd had plenty of heart to heart talks, it simply wasn't the same. They just didn't compare.

Sure, Frasier was sympathetic, offering gentle advice; advice that she gratefully appreciated. But talking with Niles was different. In the few heart to heart talks she'd had with him, she could sense something special about him. It was as though his advice and compassion had come not from his mind, but from his heart and soul.

And it was just one of the many reasons that she'd fallen in love with him.

Almost instantaneously the hot tears returned (although, truthfully, they'd never really left) and she was right back to where she'd begun. Why was she such a coward? Why hadn't she told Niles on the night of Frasier's Christmas party exactly how she felt? It was true that she'd planned on telling him that although she was flattered by what his brother had told her, that Niles had been in love with her for six years, she simply didn't feel the same way about him. She loved Donny and he was the one she wanted to be with.

Those words would have been the biggest lie she'd ever told him.

It wasn't that she didn't love Donny. She did. There was no denying that. She did love him. She really and truly did. Saying it over and over in her mind seemed to make it more and more true. And she really did love him. She'd agreed to marry him, hadn't she?

_Oh God…_

The reality struck her then, and struck her hard. She was getting married. She should be happy; ecstatic even. And she was. She loved Donny and was happy that he'd asked her to marry him.

So why did she feel so miserable?

As before, her chest began to ache, even worse than before. Oh God, it hurt to breathe; physically hurt. She was suffocating. Her hands were shaking so badly that she could hardly turn the key in the ignition. And where was that damn button to lower the window? She needed fresh air or she wasn't sure what might happen.

When she'd finally managed to put the key into the lock and turn on the ignition to roll down the window, she tried to breathe normally. But the act was impossible. Why did it hurt so much? Would it always hurt this badly? Would the pain ever go away?

Her cell phone rang repeatedly and she reached for her purse, glancing at the tiny screen. Frasier had called; fifteen times, most likely to check on her. But she couldn't talk to him now. She couldn't talk to anyone.

The light breeze and cloudy sky brought with them cool temperatures on this spring day in May. But suddenly she was claustrophobic, even with the window down. She was suffocating again, even worse than before.

And her chest hurt. Oh, how it hurt. Her entire body was trembling and if she didn't get some air, she wasn't sure what might happen. But she knew that it wouldn't be good. It wouldn't be good at all.


	3. Chapter 3

In one fluid motion she was out of the car, trying desperately to catch her breathe. She leaned over, her hand on her chest, silently pleading for the pain to stop. But it wouldn't stop. It went on, taunting her, testing her limits. And she was sure that she would fail that test.

She closed her eyes, trying to will the pain away, but each breath reminded her of how much it hurt. Perhaps if she walked around in the parking lot for a bit. As she moved across the yellow-lined parking spaces, she was sure that anyone who saw her would think her completely daft. Who walks around in circles in front of a grocery store in the middle of the day? But then she felt a small, warm weight on her back. She looked up, gasping in surprise.

"Dr. Crane…"

"Daphne, are you all right?"

She straightened immediately, staring into his blue eyes, wanting him so badly that she couldn't think straight. And then she remembered where she was, and she was humiliated by her behavior. What was wrong with her?

"I-."

"…almost didn't recognize you." He was saying. "I guess I didn't expect to see you on this side of town. Frasier doesn't usually shop here. He prefers the _Metropolitan Market_ on Mercer, but I prefer-."

"I'm not his bloody maid!" Daphne screamed, physically startling him. "Just because I'm in a bloody grocery store parking lot in the middle of bloody nowhere doesn't mean that-."

"Okay, I'm sorry, all right? Just relax, Daphne. I know you're not a maid and I would never-."

She burst into tears, embarrassing herself even further. "I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane! I'm so sorry!"

His hands were on her shoulders, reminding her of the gentle and kind heart that he held inside.

God, how she loved him. And he would never know it.

He drew her close to him, rubbing her back in small circles. "Hey, it's all right. Whatever it is…"

"It hurts!" She blurted out.

"What hurts?"

She winced, as though the pain was taunting her yet again. "Me chest… and me heart!"

He straightened at once, still keeping his arms around her. "Dear God, we've got to get you to the hospital right away. We'll leave your car here and I'll drive."

"I don't need a bloody doctor!" She screamed. "Doctors are just…. They're fakes! All of them! I hate them! I-."

His arms were still around her, holding her tightly through her hysterics. But the warmth of his touch only made her cry even more.

"Daphne, what's all this about? What's wrong? You're scaring me."

She pulled away from him and turned toward her car. "I'm fine. I-I should go. I have to… I have… I have to get to the caterers!"

He glanced at his watch. It was clear that he didn't believe her. God, what was wrong with her, lying to the man she loved? The man she wanted so badly that it physically hurt? She ran to her car and opened the door, but his hand on her arm prevented her from climbing inside.

"Daphne, stop… please!"

"I can't! I have to get to the caterers! I need to get this check to them!"

"All right, then I'll drive you. You're in no condition to-."

"I'm fine, okay? Just let me go!"

"But it's so late!" Niles said, glancing at his watch again.

"I have to go, Dr. Crane! The caterers-."

"Are probably closed by now, Daphne." He finished quietly.

"Oh, right… How could I be so daft? I-."

"Daphne, please tell me what's wrong. I care about you and I'm worried!"

"I'm so sorry for what I said to you, Dr. Crane. I didn't mean it! Doctors are wonderful people! I'm just-."

"What, Daphne? Please talk to me!"

She shook her head. "I-I can't! I-."

"Of course you can! You can tell me anything! I thought you knew that. And you know I'll never tell another soul."

God, why was he being so sweet to her? She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to kiss shim so badly. But that would just make things worse, wouldn't it?

"I do know that." She replied. "And I appreciate it. But I just… I can't tell you this."

"I can respect that." He said. "But can you at least give me a hint about what's wrong, so that I can help you?"

"You'll think I'm daft."

"No, Daphne. I would never-."

"What kind of a person bursts into tears when her best friend's wife announces in her husband's brother's living room that they've gotten married? And what kind of person sobs on a neighbor I barely know in the elevator and drives around until I can hardly see, only to end up in a grocery store parking lot?"

"Daphne…"

"And what kind of person falls in love with her boss' brother, after her boss blurts out during a mas-sage that his younger brother has been in love with her for six years? Who does that?"

But as she expected, he didn't answer. He was staring at her in complete disbelief.


	4. Chapter 4

He stared at her for so long that his face turned pale, and Daphne feared that he might faint. Even in her state of distress, she made a mental note to watch him for any signs of… well, whatever might happen. Perhaps it was a blessing that they were near a grocery store, where a variety of items were readily available.

"D-Daphne…" he finally wheezed out.

"I'm sorry that I don't tell you before, Dr. Crane. I'm so sorry. But it's all right because in three days I'm going to marry Donny and I'll be happily married, just like you and Mel.. And that's the most important thing, isn't it? I'm just sorry that I didn't realize my feelings sooner. I should have, I know. And maybe I did and I just ignored them. I don't know. But I do know that if I had-."

She barely noticed that her hands were in his and he was just inches from her, kissing her fingers again and again. When she looked up she saw the tears in his eyes, tears that very rarely made an appearance.

After her trembling fingers reached out and brushed a fallen tear from his cheek, her head began to ache. "Oh God… now I've upset you." She pressed her face against him, continuing to brush the tears from his cheeks. "If you hate me, Dr. Crane you have every right. I should be happy for you and I should have never ruined your day!"

He drew her even closer and kissed her forehead. "Daphne, I could never hate you. I would never…"

"But I'm horrible, Dr. Crane!"

"No." He said firmly.

"Yes!" She countered. "I am!"

"No…" He said again. "I don't care how many times you say it, or how loudly, you're not horrible and I will never, ever hate you!"

She clung to him, crying into his shirt. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She said again and again. But the words didn't feel like nearly enough. They could never be enough.

"Daphne, you have nothing to be sorry for." He said quietly, rubbing her back with both hands. "Let me ask you something. Do you love Donny?"

The question caught her off-guard. "What?"

He smiled and brushed strands of hair from her face. "Do you love Donny?"

"I do, but I love someone else too, and I don't know if I can-."

"You shouldn't marry anyone unless you're absolutely sure. I just wish I had taken my own advice."

She looked up at him in surprise. "What?"

"We married in haste." He said softly. "One minute we were enjoying a wonderful weekend at my cabin in the mountains and the next thing I knew she blurted out Let's get married. And then, I don't know… I heard myself saying I do. To a woman that I'm not really sure if I still love."

"This is my fault." Daphne said.

"NO…"

"Dr. Crane, if you hadn't found me here in his ridiculous parking lot, you'd be with your wife now and not here listening to me act like a complete fool! I know that you love her; otherwise you would have never married her. You're not the type to do that. You're loyal and wonderful and I wish everyone were like you."

"Well, thank you Daphne. That means a lot to me, but my getting married so quickly was a mistake. And I intend to remedy it as soon as possible. Knowing Mel, it will take some doing and will surely cost me a lot of money as well as my pride and dignity. She's going to make my life a living hell, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end."

"You mean… Oh God, I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane. I could never say it enough."

"You've said it more than enough, Daphne. I'm the one who's sorry. I had so many chances to tell you that I love you, but-."

She gasped in disbelief. "Y-you mean, you really do love me?"

His hands cradled her cheeks. "You have no idea…"

"I love you too." She said as her trembling lips met his. They kissed again and again, her heart beating rapidly at the feel of his body against hers, his soft lips, his hands splayed through her hair.

She had no idea what direction their lives would take, but she knew that she couldn't marry Donny. It wasn't right. And perhaps she'd known that for a long time.


	5. Chapter 5

When the kisses ended, Niles smiled at her, stroking her hair.

"I-I have to talk to Donny." She said, her voice broken and trembling. "I need to tell him that I can't…." She loved the way Niles was trying to soothe her fears, by placing soft kisses on her cheeks, her nose, her forehead and her mouth. And when she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, he trailed kisses down her neck, making her entire body tremble.

"I know…" he said, still kissing her. "And I need to talk to Mel… and my lawyer of course. I have to admit that I'm a bit worried about how Mel will react. She's sure to be livid, and hurt."

Daphne took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Niles, I'm so sorry."

"I'm not. Whatever pain and humiliation I have to endure, it's worth it. Just hearing you say my name… My first name…"

She took his face in her hands, kissing him tenderly. He had the sweetest, softest lips she'd ever felt. "I do love you, Niles Crane. And I think we should do this together."

"Do what together?"

"Tell Mel and Donny. Obviously not at the same time of course, but-."

"You're right, Daphne. I'll be there for you whenever and however you need me."

"And I'll be there for you, Niles. I'm a bit nervous as well. Donny won't take this lightly and there's no telling what he'll do."

"Don't worry about him. I won't let him hurt you. And neither will Frasier or Dad."

"But-."

"Don't worry about it tonight. Don't worry about anything. We'll take care of it first thing in the morning, although I hate the thought of going home and spending my evening with Mel. We'll be together soon enough, I promise."

She sighed deeply. "It won't be easy, for either of us."

"No it won't." He agreed. "But it will be worth it."

They shared a few more kisses and then held each other close for a long time. "Thank you, Niles." She said quietly after a long silence had passed. Her voice was muffled by the softness of his shirt. But he'd heard her anyway.

She kissed him again. "For this… Do you believe in fate?"

He looked at her thoughtfully. "I suppose. But are you sure that's what this is?"

"I'd like to think so. How else would you explain it?"

He grinned. "Well, I was looking for a store that Frasier recommended and I made a left turn when I should have gone right. So I pulled into this parking lot, prepared to call him to get better directions. And that's when I saw your car. I didn't want to intrude or frighten you in anyway, but when I saw you get out of the car, and stand here, looking so beautiful, I-."

She could feel her cheeks turning the same shade as the pink oxford shirt she was wearing. "Niles, it's just a silly shirt and black leggings. You've seen me wear these before."

"But you always look beautiful, Daphne."

She kissed him again and again, until she reluctantly drew back. "I should get home. Your brother and your father are going to wonder what happened to me."

"All right. I'll come over in the morning, once I've talked to my lawyer and we'll tell them together. I don't want you to have to do this alone. And then we'll go and take care of things with Mel and Donny."

"I'm scared." She admitted. "Isn't that silly?"

He drew her so close that she could feel his beating heart against hers. She leaned against him, content to listen. His fingers were in her hair, massaging it gently.

"Not at all." He said softly. "I'm scared too. But we'll have each other."

She drew back and put her hand on her chest. He was staring at her in alarm. "Daphne, my God, I'd almost forgotten. Are you still in pain?"

"No…" She whispered as the tears made their way in rivers down her cheeks. "I just love you so much."

He kissed her softly, bringing butterflies to her stomach. It was silly to be nervous around him after all of this time. But so much had changed. And so much more would change in time.

"I love you too, Daphne. We'll be together soon, I promise."

"I know… and I can hardly wait."

"We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

She couldn't hide her grin. "What do you suppose we do about that?"

"Well, perhaps we could get a bit of a head start right now and then continue later on?"

"I'd like that." She replied.

The kisses that followed were just a preview…

_THE END_


End file.
